Your Nerdy, Nerdy Hole

Anygeek into penetration play might like the idea of getting plowed by a superhero. Whether your knight in shining spandex is a mutant, an alien, or just a regular guy who happened to be in the way of some radiation, the combination of bulging calves and super powers are like catnip to some. Radioactive catnip. From Krypton.

Enter some new toys from Doc Johnson. Unlike the  photoshopped (heh) marvels I blogged about last year, this DJ line is the real thing. I squeed with delight upon first seeing all the shapes and colors. I also cackled at how they managed to avoid copyright issues, after all, Marvel and DC aren’t exactly jumping to associate themselves with adult novelties.

Anyway behold the Frig-tastic Four:

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Each of these toys is made of silicone. This means they’re easy to insert, relatively easy to sterilize, and will last a long time. Each of the four sports variations in length, diameter, texture of the shaft (see featured image) and presence or absence of a sack. Another bonus is that you can take them in carry-on luggage and they won’t be confiscated as a weapon, although your luggage may become of far greater interest to the TSA once these silhouettes pass through their scanners. 

The fact that these are around at all is a wonderful tribute to geek culture. Still, they’re not quite where my interests lie. If this line does well, Doc Johnson may wish to consider an alien series. I can see great potential in mimicking the curves of famous film monsters to appease all of us nerds who are too poor to afford the lovely shapes made by Bad Dragon, but whose lives would improve with a tentacled or bifurcated friend to call our own.

Or here’s an idea — what about double-ended toys? One end could be a dildo and the other a sleeve. Come on, tell me people wouldn’t buy a Na’avi warrior/princess combination, or a toy with Spock on one end and T’Pol on the other. For the xenophilic, DJ could produce Alien vs. Predator. I’m telling you , dil-designers, you’re looking at a gold mine here. Sell them in pairs. Market them as couples’ toys and watch all the people who want more than one gender play with, but are shy about admitting that, snap them up. If users could detach and then reattach the toys to each other or to a suction-cup base, so much the better. You could create a whole system of toys this way. Get people started on this idea with James Deen / Sasha Grey and then let the gamma quadrant be the limit.

Inline images courtesy of Doc Johnson. Featured image via Nick Gazin’s blog at thenwo.net

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