I’ve been meaning to post a review of this geektastic vibrator for a while now. It was so exciting to get him — a spontaneous gift at a kinky women’s night out. At the afterparty, he sat proudly surveying his domain – a domain wreathed in bacon.
However, producing this post took time. Stuffing the green alien between my legs while writing steamy stories, though pleasurable, isn’t what this toy was designed for. But for the longest time, Mr. Tungsten found the toy unbearably creepy. I kept quiet on that score. Teeth, even painted ones, are not something guys want near their Anthony Weiners.
But recently mein Mann decided we should all have an interplanetary adventure. Can you believe that the guy and were together for over a decade before we finally took a vibrator to bed? Neither can I. But that’s what happened.
We dubbed our visitor Squignax Prime. He is from the planet Squignax Prime and seems confused that any sentient beings have designations which differ from those of their homeworlds. While capable of making sounds, his race typically does not vocalize except to belch or yawn. No, the potbellied denizens of Squignax Prime speak in a language of vibrations. It is a pleasant language. I would like to communicate some more.
Squignax Prime did well in many situations. To begin, I sat astride Mr. Tungsten with the vibe between us. I’m not sure how we managed this, but we got the little guy situated so that lips and balls were all pleasantly abuzz. It was excellent for getting me in a sexy frame of mind, even while we were just talking.
Later he positioned the toy between my legs as he spanked me through brand new, sheer black stockings. They were providing that new-stocking service of my making my legs feel silky and tenderly encased. So nice. Did I mention how the tights had little dots on them, making me feel extra-girly? And how the vibe increased my pain threshold? This was important. Mr. Tungsten was in a very toppish kind of mood.
The other new thing, which we’d never done before, was to have me use the vibe on myself as Mr. Tungsten pleasured me in other ways. What followed was one of the longest, most varied orgasms that he can recall. Me — I had nothing to compare it to because when you’re in the earthquake you’re just “woah! buildings shaking! hey now!” He was the one with the seismograph and the objective point of view.
I do know it was intense. I do know that several times after I thought everything was over, surprising feelings occurred. I also know that I might just be multi-orgasmic after all.
So Squignax Prime, the denizens of this planet thank you. We hope you, er, come and visit us again soon.
Featured image via skinnydip.ca