Bed Presidents

Mr. Tungsten and I were at the pub the other night and in a fair way to being impaired — okay, we were already impaired — when he asked me, point-blank:

“If you had to pick one first lady, living or dead, to have sex with, who would it be? Politics aside. Death is not an option.”

I didn’t have to think too long. “Michelle.”

“Really?”

“Uh-huh. She’s pretty.”

“But she’s got these muscley man-arms. She looks like she could kick Obama’s ass.”

“She’s pretty in the face. Very feminine. Who would you pick?”

“Probably Michelle.”

“Ha! See?”

“I wonder if she does kick Obama’s ass in the bedroom.”

“Maybe you’d want her to kick your ass.”

“Maybe. Or at least threaten. Okay, what about presidents, same question.”

I still didn’t have to think all that long. “Obama.”

“Really?!” This time he seemed really surprised. “Why?”

“He seems like he would pay attention. Not like Jack Kennedy — he’d be all about his own ego.”

Mr. Tungsten does a good New England bray and he aired it out for the occasion. “Ri-i-i-i-de me Marylin!”

My laugh was delighted. “Exactly!”

“You sure you wouldn’t want someone like Clinton?”

“Ewww!” I leaned back, aghast. “God no, how could you think that?”

My husband shrugged. “I don’t know. You don’t think he’d be ready for anything?”

“Well, maybe, but just . . . ew. I don’t know. He’d be all . . . sloppy.”

“That’s right. He’d be down for anything. Dirty, nasty, you name it.”

“Still, no. What about you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, same question. Politics aside.”

He thought about it for awhile. I could see the gears turning. At last he asserted it. “Clinton. Or Eisenhower.”

It was lucky there was no beer in my mouth. “Eisenhower?!”

“Yeah. If I wanted to make love, I’d pick Eisenhower. He could be gentle and romantic with Kay Sommersby while kicking Nazi ass and then come home and still make it work with Mamie. But if I just wanted some dirty, nasty sex, then Clinton.”

Featured image by Shepard Fairey

One response to “Bed Presidents

  1. Pingback: Um, Better Healthcare? | I, Kinkster·

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